But first, last week's line removal and biopsy went well. It was successful I guess, the line came out uneventfully, and they got the cancer tissue to be tested for the mutation. Now we wait a couple weeks to see if his cancer has the mutation, and if it does, we'll have one last treatment to try. Please pray it does, and that Drew can respond to this treatment! In the mean time, without the line and off treatment, we are free to do practically whatever we want. And so far, we've done a lot!
The next night, we got a "surprise" visit from Santa, set up by a friend of a friend, a stranger to me. Josh and I knew about it, and asked our photographer friend to come and capture the moments. We enjoyed a horse drawn sleigh ride, and then Santa came in to give the kids some gifts. The local news even did a little story about it! What a wonderful gift to us. Nothing like Santa to bring out the kid in everyone!
The following morning after they opened gifts from Santa, High Schoolers from Molly's school came by with more presents for the kids! It was so kind of them, and of course the kids loved it. No time to settle down, because we hit the road for Iowa later that day. Over the weekend we celebrated Christmas with both sides of the family, and Molly got 3 different serenades of "Happy Birthday". With her December 26th birthday I'm starting to think she actually gets even MORE birthday than other kids since everyone tries so hard to give her the special treatment. Which is fine. She definitely deserves it this year! Yesterday, on her actual birthday, she wanted Subway for her Birthday meal out, and we all went to a movie together. Drew made it about half way. Pretty good we thought for his first time!
This week we are looking forward to Drew's "Reveal Party" for his Make-a-Wish trip. We are considered a rush case, so everything is happening really quickly. Josh and I already know the details of the trip, but we'll let you all be surprised with the kids on Friday. The big reveal will be at the John Deere dealership here in town. I guess they are planning on giving tractor rides to the kids too! Drew got a lot of "green" for Christmas--where did I get this farm kid?? It was hard to stick to our limited space for who we invited. You all have supported us so much, we wish everyone could be there! Be sure to watch for pictures and, we are told, for us on the news again!
All of these surprises were wonderful. It was truly a magical week. Watching the faces of my kids was all the thanks I think everyone who was a part of the surprises needed. It wasn't hard to find things to be thankful for this week. To chose joy? That was a little more difficult at times. Could this really be our last Christmas together? Everyone was so great at trying not to make a big deal out of it, but it was what was unspoken with everyone, and written on all of our faces at one point or another. I started to get the same feelings I got over the summer before Drew was to go in for transplants. Those moments watching him so filled with joy and life are amazing, but are quickly followed by a familiar, dull, ache at what he may lie ahead. This feeling has always been a different kind of sad. Of course it's horrible and awful when he's suffering, and that is a terrible feeling as a mother to experience. I wouldn't wish it on anyone! But the pain I feel when I see him laugh, tease, play and peacefully sleep--I just want to freeze time. Snatch him up and take him somewhere where he can be with us just like THIS forever. Because I know right now, it's this Drew I'll miss, if he's ever not with us. If it gets to the point where he's suffering and in pain, I won't wish him to stay with us like that. If he could just stay with us being the charming little boy that he is, I would give anything...
We've gotten this far by staying focused, relying on God for strength, counting our blessings each day, and choosing joy. And on good days, which is still most days, I feel at peace. I believe everything I've said, and will stand by it. This whole year has been a gift, and we are thankful. Drew has done so much in his life so far for others, and we are grateful to be a part of it. On great days, I can even still hope for the ultimate miracle. Still totally see how NOW is the time that God could really show his power and heal Drew. Science could not take credit for it, it would be all by the hand of God. But I'm starting to have bad days, even just bad hours, where it would be so easy to let myself go. Let the disappointment, sadness, grief, and frustration explode out of me. And I probably need to do that a little. But I can just sense how easy it would be to never regain control. And right now I really feel like I'd be missing out on Drew being Drew if I did that. So I will press on, and ask for your prayers for God to keep me strong and focused on enjoying our time together for today. Not worry about tomorrow, but live our life in the present. And also for God to touch Drew and heal him completely!!
By the way, Drew has totally loved the birthday singing, and clapping and candle-blowing-out-ing that Molly has done. And in true, amazing child fashion that Drew is, never trying to take it from Molly. Just smiled at her with the biggest smile, clapped enthusiastically, and watched and waited for her to open her presents...it was the cutest thing this weekend. And Sunday he even went up to Molly after she blew out her candle and told her "Happy Birthday Molly, I love you"...for real. This is the stuff I'm talking about. The sweetest and saddest, all at the same time. Glad I got a picture of that moment!
~Heidi
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