5-6-16

Well we are ending the week at home! I never thought we'd actually make it the whole week without a fever! We went in for blood work today again, and his counts are still really low, he hasn't had that big rebound yet. I can tell in some ways. He tires quickly, his nose is runny, his shins are all bruised up since his platelets are so low, and he's still not sleeping the best at night (although the he hasn't gotten sick the last two nights!). I've never been home during this down week with him, we've always been hospitalized for one reason or another, so I'm seeing what he looks like when he's at his lowest at home for the first time. With all that said, he's had a great week at home. He's still been surprisingly full of energy and happy. I can only tell he's feeling a little sluggish only because his smile isn't on his face ALL the time, just most of the time! Molly has loved us all being home together as well. This week home was good medicine not only for Drew, but her. We predict his body to rebound sometime this weekend, so until then we still could rush to the hospital with a fever, but the days we'd have to be there are most likely few. We'd next report then on Tuesday when we have a number of scans and appointments in preparation for surgery on Wednesday. It will be a big day for him, and for our whole family. I ask you to continue to pray that things go well and the bulk of the cancerous tumor can be removed.

I am so very thankful for the week we've had at home. It has been wonderful, really it has. And also, honestly, exhausting. We tried to get the most out of everyday, which I think we did, but when you are getting up multiple times a night, you never get really rested (as most mothers of little ones will tell you), before you start it all again. I fought anxiety a lot this week each time I take his temperature, hoping we don't have to pack up and leave. His care in general requires a lot of focus, and when you do it alone during the day, there is a lot of second guessing yourself. Throw in normal sibling fighting, and you have one tired Mama. Truth be told I'm more then a little nervous about next week as well. All the "what ifs" can really fill my head if I let it. So I am going to really try to clear my head this weekend. Get myself back to a place of strength and not frazzled-ness, because Lord knows next week will have it's own set of things to drive me crazy. I pray that His strength can fill me and keep me going, since I'm seeing how far my own strength can get me. Thankfully, reinforcements are coming on Sunday too, when my cousin from Colorado will be here to help out for the week. It worked out so nice to have an extra hand at the house with Molly while Josh and I will need to be by Drew's side during surgery and recovery.

Thank you for your encouragement and prayers, as always!

~Heidi