1-17-17

So Drew has been much more comfortable since the lung drain was placed. You can tell breathing is still work for him, but he certainly is not struggling. His oxygen level continue to decline, slowly so far. After several dry diapers, they are convinced his kidneys are beginning to shut down. Fluids have been stopped. I feel like his coloring is starting to get more pale, he's looking more drained. But overall he's very calm for the most part. Restful. It is making this process a lot easier. If he is agitated, he just wants to hold your hand. Such small requests! He will still answer "yea" or "no". Still respond with "love you" when we say we love him. And request Paw Patrol! But he is talking less and less, and when he does, it seems like it takes effort. They are saying hours now, up to a couple days. Especially since we've stopped fluids.

Molly came yesterday to visit. It was a wonderful time together. The music therapist lady was already in, I think by the hand of God, and it was perfect. Molly strummed the guitar and sang along, while Drew watched and listened. Child life had them do a hand print art work together, which we will be so glad we did. My friend who Molly is staying with also brought her son, Andrew, Drew's friend who has lifted his spirits before while he's been in the hospital. It was really a wonderful morning that I will remember forever.

Then after that, the rest of Drew's friends came through--staff from every part of this hospital and downtown clinic. Every Oncologist, every Oncology nurse, even the receptionist from the oncology office! People from surgery, anesthesia, child life, radiation oncology, nurses from other floors....it has been a string of professionals unlike anything our nurses have seen. And I think its because Drew is a child like no one has ever seen. These are his people--his friends. Ones who have literally held his hand while he endured things most of us will never have to endure. You can see the love, the heartbreak, and the inspiration that Drew leaves in these people's face and tear-filled eyes. It has left me feeling even more proud of him than I was before. And I thought there was no room to be prouder.

Josh and I are doing okay. I think we each are handling things just the way we do--I'm talking...a lot. He's paying attention to what's going on, and keeping everyone on track. I feel like I've had emotions all over the board. For the last couple days I've been repeating things that I truly believe, and have brought us comfort. Saying that we are sad, and we will miss him, but we'll be okay. And that is true. But then they come in and tell me about his kidneys and I lose it. He's still my baby. My sweet little guy who didn't deserve any of this. One of my ducklings that I want to just make it all better and run away.

But I do know and believe that he is so close to seeing God's glory. So close to paradise, and how wonderful that will be for him. I can imagine the reception this little man will receive after so faithful completing every assignment from God with such grace, up until his last one. If he can go a week between the Magic Kingdom of Disney to the Magic Kingdom of our Heavenly Father, I guess that's not a bad way to do it if it has to be this way! He's always only down for as long as he has to be, then up and going as soon as he feels better. I have no doubt he'll be up and going in no time--moving on to his next life full of adventure. Driving even bigger combines!

Keep praying for him to be at peace. To not be afraid and to feel no pain. Pray for Josh and I to weather the storm of emotions and lean on each other and God. And for Molly who knows what's going on, but is thankfully kind of removed from the nitty-gritty of it.

Thank you again for all your love, support and prayers!

~Heidi