1-15-17

Drew's condition changed a lot from yesterday. His breathing became increasingly labored, and his pain level continue to increase. A chest x-ray was done and it showed a lot of fluid in the lungs, as well as a lot of cancer. They put in a tube in his chest to drain some of the fluid, which would help him to get a lot more comfortable. This is a short term fix, but one that we hope will make him not have to work so hard to breath, and to be more comfortable. The overall picture is not looking good. Yesterday she said he most likely had weeks if we could get his eye figured out...today they are saying the eye may be moot point, as the cancer quickly advances. Now they say he probably has days. Josh and I are here together, and plan on staying if or until we can leave him.

At this point, join us in praying we can keep him in as little pain as possible. That he can relax and rest. And that God can give him peace. We pray for a miracle and hope that it is on this side of heaven, but we know that if it’s on the other side, he WILL be healed.

To say it's hard to see him struggle and in pain is obvious, and an understatement. I just wish I could bear the pain for him. Wish there was some other way that this would end. We can, and are, praying just like Jesus as his final hours drew closer, "Please Father, take this cup from us!". And like Jesus, we will trust Him either way. As I read that passage I found a part that I hadn't seen before--Luke 22:43,after he prayed those words, it says, "Now an Angel from heaven appeared to Him, strengthening Him." Please God, send us that Angel to give us strength.

How can we be ready to say goodbye? I am now even more convinced we will never be ready. But can only bear the thought because I can't stand to see him like this. Only bear the thought because I know that he has so many rewards coming for all his suffering this year. Think of it! If he is only days away from seeing the glory that is not worthy to be compared with his sufferings (Romans 8:18), that is wonderful. And that must be some glory in light of his sufferings!

I also can only be okay with this because I know that Jesus is the ultimate victor. It may seem like death will win, but it will not. Because of Jesus we know that the victory is ours! Drew has fulfilled his purpose with us, and gets to move on to a place much better than here. As Molly and I talked about things this weekend, she asked, "Will he miss us?". It helped me to answer her, "No, he won't. He'll always be with us, wherever we are. He'll be so much better than he is now. It'll be us that miss him." And we will. SO much.

As I watched him struggle to breath before the tube was placed, his hair wet with sweat from the work, I think, I am so proud of him. Proud of all he's done this year. All he's endured, and is enduring. I can't wait for him to done. To be finished. To rest.

Please, keep praying for Drew. That he gets that rest soon. That God's will be done, and that he be glorified during this week. Pray for us. For rest, for a clear mind to really be present in these days, even if we don't want to be, but so that we can take it all in. Also for Molly, that she can continue to understand all that she needs to, and will not be afraid either.

Thank you all!

~Heidi