The service itself was just what I had hoped for. A true celebration of the powerful life Drew lead on earth, and also a time to reflect on the power we all have in life. The power to save ourselves through faith, the power to serve others and by doing so, serve God. And also the power that comes from being obedient to His calling. And there is so much power in that. How could one little two year old boy have done all that everyone told me he did for them, if not by the power of God behind him. And all we have to do is what he tells us to. It’s as simple and beautiful as that.
We played the clip of Drew ringing the bell after he was done with radiation. A rite of passage after you’ve completed treatments. It seemed so perfect as Drew very well could have gotten a big bell to ring as he entered into heaven. The saying above the bell in the radiation department reads, “My treatments are done, It’s course has run, And I am on my way”. I imagine the heavenly bell says, “My work is done, The course is run, and now I am on my way”. And no doubt Jesus said to my baby boy, “Well done, my good an faithful servant.”
Going though cards is another way place where I have been comforted and moved by other’s words. One thought perfectly sums up what I have been trying to put into words. “We all prayed so hard for every step you took—But God’s work seemed to be done through you and not to you”. What a beautiful way to say it. We all prayed SO hard and often for God to work a miracle in Drew. And I’m realizing He did, but not as we asked. The miracle was the work He did through a sweet little two year old child. This whole year we went through each step thinking the purpose was to rid Drew of the cancer. But God had a different purpose in mind; a bigger purpose that took each step to accomplish—to spread the truth and love of God. Each day, each step in treatment was never meant to cure him, but to touch someone different. Reach someone new that needed encouragement, love, hope or joy.
I remember one day I had Drew in a tucked away courtyard we found by the rehab wing. A lady came out and said her ailing mother had been watching us each day that week and it gave her such pleasure to watch Drew play, and me chase after him with his pole. Whatever our reason for being inpatient that week was not really that reason, but to bring joy to that lady. Looking back I can see so many of these times. So many people or chain of events that must have been what we were REALLY doing there that day. And I did see this along the way. I did realize the work Drew was doing, I had just hoped him being healed would be a part of it. And I guess it was. Because now he IS healed. More whole than he was going to be on Earth even if we had “beaten” the cancer.
Another card quoted James Joyce, “ ‘They lived and laughed; And loved and left’ and the world will never be the same.” I know our world will never be the same, and it shouldn’t. All week people have been telling me how inspiring we are. If I haven’t said it enough, I’ll say it again. DREW was the inspiring one. He is the one who, going through what adults who endured similar treatment say is the worst pain, sickness, and recovery, got himself up and enjoyed each day. That is the inspiration I have to keep going. Yes when Drew was down, he was down. And this is our time to be down. To rest. To recover. But, like Drew, we will get up again and chose to enjoy each day. And continue to follow God’s lead in the life that is to come. Because I know that each day has a purpose, that makes sure the world will never be the same. And there is such power in choosing to be apart of it.
‘God doesn’t waste hurt”—another line from a friend’s card. For all the suffering and pain we’ve been through, I know it was not in vain. This week, as person after person, card after card, tells me all that Drew did for them, I know that all we went through this last year was not a waste. And some of the results, the harvest if you will, from Drew’s work I still don’t know on this side of heaven. But it brings me comfort to know that on the other side, where Drew is, he does. He has been filled in on all the “whys”, all the good that came of his sufferings this past year. And I know my son, I know he would do it all over again for the good of others. If we all could be more like him!
So overall, the family has left. Molly went back to school. Josh will return to work on Monday. The dust is starting to settle, the storm beginning to lift, and we are getting the first glimpse of what will be our new world. As we adjust into it, we’ll no doubt feel more growing pains. And grief pains. But for now, we are still okay. Taking one day at a time. Resting. Trusting a God who got us through an unimaginable year, to help us get through the next. Letting ourselves be however we are, which so far has been at peace. Tired, but at peace. Keep praying for our recovery process. For the grief to not over power us. For us to take the time to rest from the last year, before we try to “figure out” the next step from here. For us to continue to chose joy and be thankful. What I have learned is the only way to truly live in whatever circumstance!
Our wonderful friend Lynne Port took photos for us of the services I wanted to share here. So glad to have these memories!
~Heidi
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